Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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