Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
