i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
