Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
