how can u be prego again
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
