Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
