allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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