i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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