evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
