At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
