Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
