If that was your dad, he is hot
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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