Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
