The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
