He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
