Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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