In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
