Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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