Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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