K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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