And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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