I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
