She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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