Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
