There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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