You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
