why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
