This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
