walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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