The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
