There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My life is pants optional.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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