I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Randomize
