Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
