normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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