just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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