I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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