is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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