Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
