thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
