$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
