There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
is wine microwaveable?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
