Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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