Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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