I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
