Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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