The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
