Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
