I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
