Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She's the barista slut.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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