Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
