I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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